Plan? What Plan? OFRC Dumps the Q-Match!

We also had a left-hand target and a right-hand target but as so often happens when the left hand (Halahan) and the right hand in the form of the new skipper (and ex-HonSec) James “PlasticJock” Mehta are acting independently of each other the result looks like an air-burst paintbomb over a chimps’ tea party.

I’m sorry if that sounds cold, callous and unfair, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. But it wasn’t all bad and perhaps much of the carnage was born out of nothing more than over-ebullience and pre-season excitement – which led us all marvelling how we ever made it through the winter. And perhaps because of the unseasonable lovely day (and a fair few ales the previous night) we were all feeling distinctly chipper.

And this was great news because we welcomed no fewer than five debutantes into the field – four of them even human. All professions clump together, many of them like streptococci gaining ever more malignant mass and we now it seems have three dentists within the ranks of the OFRC. First there’s PlasticJock,  and then Chas ‘Skinand’ Lister and now we welcomed Samantha “Hyacinth” Heath. We have decided that the collective noun for dentists is a ‘crown’.

We were also deeply pleased to welcome for the first time Richard Lee-“Enfield”-Warder – a Stradbroke House veteran of sufficient vintage as to have to be instructed that the 7.62mm target rifle is not loaded from the muzzle end. And there was an unexpected OFRC debut for former Queens Prize finalist  Adrian “Pierre’s Moustache” Smith – a fine 49.8 at the shorter range is followed by a cross-shot (ie one on the wrong target) and therefore a miss. A schoolboy error so it seems his career may end up like a forgotten Top of the Pops one-hit wonder.

And a warm welcome to last year’s College captain Will Hamilton. It is always a pleasure to see new blood in the ranks of the OFRC especially if they are not drunks.

All of this added up to the biggest showing for the Q Match anyone can remember with enough entrants for a C team.

And so the enormous game began. JohnSec has made it pretty plan that since he is strategically pretending to be Irish he has been selected to train with the GB Squad. Dismissing McDowell’s cynical expression of doubt over chequebook shooting, it is rapidly plain that with a score of 45.3 at 500 yards his much vaunted international training has not done him the least bit of good in the closed season.

Likewise for PlasticJock who to has brought with him a copy of his birth certificate to prove that he was in fact born in Dundee which entitles him to wear his Scottish cap. His wintering of hard training for the forthcoming NRA tour to the Channel Islands has clearly also not had the greatest effect while he continues squabbling with Halahan.

Meanwhile McDowell, for no apparent reason known to himself or coach ‘Windmaster’ Larcombe, has slotted the first maximum of the season at 500 yards without anyone really noticing. This is because of the fifth debutante.

Halahan’s hobby horse has for some time been a set of wired headsets. A closed circuit (since for obvious reasons radios are banned to shooters) into which the coaches can communicate their windcalls – or more accurately just listen to Larcombe. This of course relies on a box of tricks which no-one really knows how to work – even in a team with two former members of the REME. Neil ‘Father of the House’ Joy was of course an officer in the REME during his National Service – but don’t tell Halahan because he was only a corporal.

Suffice to say this £1500 piece of kit – carefully saved for with successive OFRC Guest Days – basically only added to the all-round confusion.

Some erratic performances at 500 yards also showed great promise from a couple of our newcomers. Richard Lee-Enfield with the first of what turned out to be a brace of impressive 44s, A Smith and Geoff “Wehaveaproblem” Houston all impressively blowing off their pre-season cobwebs.

Will Hamilton shows some promise, but poor Hyancinth – being diminutive – struggled with the big rifle and withdrew complaining of bruising. No mention of the robust hangover though. John “Dartford Tunnel” Horton showing that old dogs don’t lie down and stringing 5 straight Vs together and our two other senior members – Messrs Joy and “El Presidente” Smith showing there is more to come from them. Somehow we stitched it together, though it wasn’t enough as 600 yards showed once again that a mere 100 yards further back can make a massive difference.

McDowell showed characteristic consistency by opening his 600 yard account with a Magpie 3, Halahan finding some form, and some magnificent platform shooting from Geoff Houston, saw the A team 20 points off. It was far from enough – which is just as well because the Bedfordians had forgotten to bring the trophy back from last year.

Our thanks as ever go to Messrs Larcombe and John “Mussolini” Miller for running the range. We are grateful at least one of us was organised.

 

 

 

1^st – Bedfordians – 387.33

2^nd – Old Framlinghamians A – 380.30

3^rd – KCS Wimbledon OBRC – 368.21

4^th – Old Cranleighan A – 365.20

5^th – Old Lawrentians – 364.18

6^th – Old Albanians – 358.15

7^th – Old Alleynians – 353.12

8^th – Old Framlinghamian B – 350.25

9^th – Old Cranleighan C – 348.14

10^th – Old Framlinghamians C – 278.5